Sunday Miscellany

Sunday, Aug. 07, 2005 - 12:25 p.m.

A little followup: John survived the boat luncheon on Friday with a mild sunburn and no chumming.

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Next, thank you to Candoor and everybody who posted in yesterday's comments section. I am so very grateful for your kind thoughts.

If you're visiting my diary for the first time, welcome. I suggest you start with the top ten list, down there by the graphic at the bottom, below the link to the pope's email. And I know that most of you know this, but it bears repeating: There are real people with real feelings behind each and every one of these diaries. Somebody considered what to write, and wrote it down because they, the author, thought it was important to say. And that's the only reason that matters.

If you click on a banner and decide you don't like what you read, then it's very simple: Go away and don't come back. No harm, no foul.

Because you see, if anybody believes that anything negative they say about me will affect my writing or my writing style, then those people are desperately out of touch with what's important, and there's really no cure for that.

However, I guess it's anybody's right to be desperately out of touch with what's important, and -- bless their pointy little heads -- there are some who have made it an art form. :-)

Anyway, whether you're here for the first time or the hundredth time, thank you for being here.

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The refrigerator is giving off a Strange Dairy Whiff every time we open and close the door; my allergies have made it impossible to detect specifically where this problem is centered.

I hope we figure this out before whatever it is knocks the door off its hinges from the inside and shambles forth to kill us as we sleep.

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Dear Private Caller: Ever since what happened with that predator / impostor, I don't answer incoming calls that are cloaked. If you're a friend of mine, you know this, and have been told about my policy. Stop ringing my cell phone and then hanging up without leaving a message. You're being an asshole and this needs to stop pretty soon, okay? Thenk yew.

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So yesterday afternoon, John very innocently goes to the Ford dealership to obtain an additional key for me to use to get in to my side of the car if he forgets to unlock my door before he gets in. And the dealership has quite a surprise for him. Get a load of THIS shit. A second key costs us ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY GODDAMN DOLLARS. And a THIRD key will cost THIRTY more dollars. It turns out, nowadays Ford's keys have a little computer chip on them, and if you want to have a chip custom-confoogled to fit your car, they'll bend you over a barrel and give it to you real good, without even offering you candy or flowers or a diamond ring.

But WAIT. It gets BETTER.

The soonest appointment for this key confoogleration? This coming WEDNESDAY FUCKING MORNING at SEVEN FUCKING A.M.

When people mention the FORD DIFFERENCE, now I know what they're talking about. Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.

Sigh.

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Okay, I think that's it.

Have a good rest of the weekend. And again, humbly -- thanks.

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