Weighty Issue

Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005 - 3:15 p.m.

This story caught my eye...

Woman Offended by Doc's Obesity Advice

ROCHESTER, N.H. -- As doctors warn more patients that they should lose weight, the advice has backfired on one doctor with a woman filing a complaint with the state saying he was hurtful, not helpful.

Dr. Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives, but the lecture drove one patient to complain to the state. "I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says. "I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.' " He says he wrote a letter of apology to the woman when he found out she was offended.

Her complaint, filed about a year ago, was initially investigated by a panel of the New Hampshire Board of Medicine, which recommended that Bennett be sent a confidential letter of concern. The board rejected the suggestion in December and asked the attorney general's office to investigate.

Bennett rejected that office's proposal that he attend a medical education course and acknowledge that he made a mistake.

Bruce Friedman, chairman of the board of medicine, said he could not discuss specific complaints. Assistant Attorney General Catherine Bernhard, who conducted the investigation, also would not comment, citing state law that complaints are confidential until the board takes disciplinary action.

The board's Web site says disciplinary sanctions may range from a reprimand to the revocation of all rights to practice in the state.

"Physicians have to be professional with patients and remember everyone is an individual. You should not be inflammatory or degrading to anyone," said board member Kevin Costin.

Other overweight patients have come to Bennett's defense.

"What really makes me angry is he told the truth," Mindy Haney told WMUR-TV on Tuesday. "How can you punish somebody for that?"

Haney said Bennett has helped her lose more than 150 pounds, but acknowledged that she initially didn't want to listen.

"I have been in this lady's shoes. I've been angry and left his practice. I mean, in-my-car-taking-off angry," Haney said. "But once you think about it, you're angry at yourself, not Doctor Bennett. He's the messenger. He's telling you what you already know."

Now then.

I don't know about the rest of you all, but I don't go to a doctor to get praised and mollycoddled. I need to have the doctor tell me what to do to get better if I'm sick, and I have to have the doctor do it in words of three syllables or less so the advice I receive won't just bounce off of my skull and land in my purse. Because if it lands in my purse -- it's going to get lost in there.

On the other hand -- absolutely nothing that anybody on the face of this earth said to me made the least bit of difference as far as inspiring my weight loss was concerned. I made the decision to do so all by myself. I researched what kind of diets worked best, decided on a modified Atkins program, and even though I received help once I decided to lose weight, the actual decision was mine and mine alone. And I make that decision every time I put food on my plate.

A doctor can't make you decide to lose weight. After you decide for yourself, a doctor CAN recommend a diet or help you obtain a gastric bypass to facilitate your weight loss. But the initial spark?... That's all yours, pumpkin.

I have struggled with weight issues all my life. Odds are I probably always shall. But the thing is, the road to self-improvement and self-esteem began for me after I experienced the following epiphany: I am NOT here to decorate YOUR world, nor are YOU here to tell me what the fuck I can and cannot eat unless I ask for your assistance. If I go to a doctor for a checkup or a specific health issue and am told to lose more weight, that's fine with me. I've chosen to see the doctor, and whatever advice I receive from a medical professional shall be considered, even if he's brusque.

So, to whoever filed the complaint: It's obvious that you don't want to lose weight, otherwise you would have realized the doctor was right. Stop blaming others for your misery and your food intake mistakes, and stop thinking that any doctors you deal with are there to make widdle baby feel all bedder if there's a problem he can't fix with medicine. Your self-esteem does NOT depend on the wording a doctor selects to tell you you'll feel better if you weigh less. Your self-esteem begins and ends with you. Work on that first, and the rest will follow -- I promise.

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