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Mom

Sugartits Gibson

Tuesday, Aug. 01, 2006 - 8:38 a.m.

I am speaking to you from the paralyzing comfort of the air conditioned Motel 6. Dave and Charlie were excellent to me, but it's time to let em leave the lid up. I head back up the coast on Thursday.

---

As you've all heard by now, Mel Gibson got into a speck of trouble for some things he said.

I am in all likelihood going to destroy or otherwise get rid of my copy of TIM. Then I'm going to pray to God to make at least one of Mel Gibson's ancestors Jewish.

Although, I gotta think about those other drunks in the cell with him.

I can just hear them now: "No, really. Mel Gibson was in the dryout with me." "SUuuuuuUUUuure he was, pal."

And Mistah Gibson also called an on-duty female officer 'Sugartits' while he was in handcuffs.

---

After our golden child sobered up, he said:

After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the L.A. County sheriff's. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person.

I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said and I apologize to anyone who I have offended.

Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry.

I have battled the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health.

I predict a repackage / rebuild interview tour in the works, beginning with Larry King, and then The View; that sort of thing, like they did with Hugh Grant.

But the difference is Hugh Grant was genuinely penitent. And still cute.

Besides, you know the saying -- a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Somehow, if Mel Gibson ends up on Larry King, I don't think Larry is gonna pitch kittenballs this time around.

---

That's about it. No solid plans for today so far. Have a good Tuesday, and if you observe it, a happy Lughnasadh.

---

Oh wait, Mel's opened his mouth again this morning. Let's see what's plopped out THIS time:

There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.

I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.

The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.

I'm not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.

This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. Its about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad.

Hmm.

I hope my readers will forgive me, but I'm still not convinced.

---

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