Restoral

Sunday, Jan. 06, 2008 - 1:14 a.m.

Yesterday evening on the news, I saw a report filed by Tom Vacar in which he used a nonsense word, thusly: "The restoral of electricity has been time-consuming, due to the fallen trees."

Um. The word 'restoral' isn't in any of the dictionaries I've looked in so far.

The man got paid to stand there in the weather and say a nonsense word.

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Meanwhile, the Britney Spears nightmare continues to unfold in a way that has even surprised me.

It's time for one of my Open Letter Entries, so here goes:

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Dear Oprah Winfrey,

I am writing you this open letter to tell you that I have had an epiphany about you.

You are one sorry-ass decision maker when it comes to people who cleave to your shirt-tails.

Your most notorious and destructive misaccomplishment has been the creation and popularization of a man named Phil McGraw.

Let's see what Dr. Phil has done:

He released a ripoff line of diet products in his name that didn't stand a chance of working and bore false claims that cost an assload of money in damage payouts.

He arranged a kamikaze last minute show to try and benefit from that stupid thing that Dog Chapman did, and his guests included the usual overblown passel of sharks in the Affirmative Action gang who pride themselves on metaphorically requiring blowjobs from their chosen victims. (Come to think of it, I'll only give him half a credit for that one, because, darling, you had that same gaggle of minions on your show a few months earlier when Don Imus fucked up.)

But NOW, Dr. Phil has crossed the line one too many times, as he somehow managed to get into Britney Spears' hospital room and after speaking briefly to her, issued a press release on her condition.

So, Oprah, you billion-dollar butterbean, you -- are you proud of the monster you created?

How could that amount of cruelty and explotation in a man's soul go unnoticed by you?

Or... did you just choose to overlook it in the face of making more money with another Harpo talk show?

I won't be watching your show anymore, and I SURE as hell will be avoiding Dr. Phil in any capacity now known or created in the future.

You see, unlike you and Dr. Phil, I am besotted with this little set of burdensome quirks called ETHICS, and sometimes I actually listen to what those ethics tell me to do.

With sincerity and intent to act, I am

Yours,

Brin-Marie McLaughlin

Grrr.

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All right, enough crabbing for the day.

We lucked out and didn't have any problems with our electricity, and nothing too big fell onto or across our street when the wind was blowing.

I'm spending several hours in a row in silence and not coughing. This means I'm getting better, I hope.

Today is January 6th, the feast of the epiphany, and today is the day that Christmas trees are supposed to be taken down if it hasn't happened already.

There STILL isn't a Friday Five to monkey with, so I'll go ahead and close for now.

Have a good Sunday, my friends!

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