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42 Things About Me

Tuesday, May. 11, 2004 - 7:20 a.m.

- I worry about the wrong things. Worrying is kind of dumb anyway.

- I have a terrycloth fetish. I figured this out after realizing a significant portion of my sexual fantasies involved such things as making love at a beach, or in a bathtub or by a swimming pool.

- I am obsessive compulsive about money. All of the bills have to be in order and facing the same direction. I don't do anything special with my coins, except that if I find a coin in my pocket or purse with the year of my birth, I do not spend it unless I have no choice.

- I take it very personally when you seek me out, ask my advice, and then do what is essentially the complete opposite of what you've been advised to do. Don't use the word 'advice' -- just use the word 'survey' so I'll know my thoughts aren't quite as crucial to you as you've led me to believe they are. I think extensively about any advice I have ever given to anybody, and it's really frustrating when you seek me out, ask me to cogitate because you feel you cannot do it alone, and then discard my work on your problems like it's never even happened.

- I hate it when people make fun of me, especially if it has anything to do with my outward appearance. I literally do not have the tools to cope with this. I wish I did.

- I love listening to people's voices, for reasons that will become apparent as you read the list.

- I have abandonment issues.

- I have lost forty pounds since choosing to go low-carb on February 16, 2004.

- I am extremely protective of my hair. Most of it fell out twenty years ago when I had to go on steroids to alleviate the symptoms of ulcerative colitis, and ever since it all grew back, I've been very cautious about who is allowed to touch it.

- I have an ileostomy. The ulcerative colitis symptoms were arrested for awhile, but came back after I was in a bad car accident, and an operation was needed to save my life.

- I had a poor self-image for years because of the next thing on the list.

- I have actually seen a potential lover retch when he looked at my body, with the abdominal scar and the ileostomy. I have since received and accepted an apology, and he's now one of my best friends.

- I have breasts that are two different sizes. My left one is bigger.

- I think a really good pee when you've needed to go really really badly is almost as good as an orgasm.

- I believe that all teachers are heroes.

- I wish I could have a pet. I wouldn't even mind a small one in a cage, such as a hamster, but as of this writing, our building does not allow pets of any kind.

- I have a younger brother.

- I play the piano.

- I love Diaryland.

- I edited a critically-acclaimed graphic novel in 1999. I'd like to do this again for somebody at some point.

- I wish I could read music better than I do.

- I am learning sign language in preparation for the second half of my life.

- I miss chocolate.

- I quit all of the over the counter sleep medications I had been taking for decades on January 1, 2004.

- I love talk radio.

- I love old television shows, especially The Dick Van Dyke Show.

- I cannot stand cigarette smoke. This isn't even an emotional issue, it's purely physical. My body shuts down if I get a lungful of smoke.

- I have dyslexia.

- I am quite possibly the only person you know who can get lost while walking in a straight line.

- I think people who choose to drive cars that get less than twenty miles a gallon and then turn around and disapprove of our involvement in the Middle East are completely out of touch.

- I still eat pizza, although I just peel the stuff off of the top of the crust and throw the crust away.

- I used to own a Shetland Sheepdog that was afraid of soap bubbles. Not the bathing kind, but the blown through the wand kind.

- I own over thirty bottles of nail polish.

- I write music. I first performed an original song in public when I was sixteen.

- I believe in same-sex marriage. Whatever two unrelated consenting adults choose to do with their lives is their business, and I hope I live long enough to see the day when this issue is no longer a big deal.

- I want to travel more than I have.

- I am losing my hearing. I will be deaf sometime within the next several years. No, there's nothing that can be done, no there's no cure, and thanks, but -please- stop saying you're sorry.

- I will stop speaking to any person in my life right now -- forever and ever, no do-overs, and no apologies will be accepted -- if they EVER make fun of my encroaching hearing impairment. I pride myself on not wasting time on people who are senselessly cruel to me.

- I love a good joke -- but I love a bad joke even better.

- I still enjoy cooking, even though I can no longer eat most of the stuff I know how to cook.

- I will always at least try to make people's pain go away.

- I believe that love is not an easy thing you feel, but a difficult thing you do.


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