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Rant & DNA

Saturday, Aug. 26, 2006 - 12:52 a.m.

A story from Thursday:

Austrian police today said they were "quite sure" a young woman found this week was Natascha Kampusch who vanished on her way to school on March 2, 1998, when she was 10.

The woman claims she has been a captive, confined much of the time in a small cellar in Strasshof, Austria.

The man who allegedly held the woman killed himself on Wednesday a few hours after she sought help at a home near the quiet, small-town street where she says she was held.

While expressing confidence in the women�s identity, investigators said they were still waiting for DNA verification of the identity claim by the young woman, who turned up in a garden near the man�s house.

And FRIDAY, they DID in fact get DNA evidence to prove she was the missing child.

This is all well and good, and I'm glad the girl has been confirmed as who she says she is, and will be returning to her family.

---

But I have a question.

Why in holy socks is it taking so much more time to run a DNA test on J0hn K@rr? Are our crime labs unaware that this is something that should be prioritized?

We're giving this delusional hoser too much of our time. He's nothing but a sick fuck who in all likelihood wants to contrive to die by hanging from his bedsheets in a prison cell after writing a glamorous suicide note saying he was the real killer and asking the deputies to please fondle his cold dead nipples while they're taking him down from the rafters. He belongs right up there with Fake Andy. Too many vague answers when he's in a crunch, and yet, he's sounding like he's giving answers that the world wants to hear.

They are two of a kind, and I am asking the universe to mark my words -- J0hn K@rr DID NOT kill J0nB3n3t. He just WANTS to be the one who did it.

If I have to be wrong on this, that's fine. At least the case will be solved.

But something says I'm right, and I'm going down kicking and screaming on this one.

---

Got another movie recommendation for you. It's called On A Clear Day.

It's sort of in the same genre as The Full Monty and It's All Gone Pete Tong and Billy Elliot and maybe even Educating Rita. UK citizens face personal crisis and overcome adversity. It's been done before to be certain, but I've got to say, I certainly enjoyed how beautifully this version of that scenario was packaged this time around.

---

FInally, yes, thank you, I know about the Apple battery recall. My serial numbers don't match the questionable lot.

These aren't the droids they're looking for, move along, move along...

---

Have a good Saturday.

---

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