Free At Last

Saturday, Mar. 10, 2007 - 12:54 a.m.

John Inman died yesterday. He was 71.

For those of you who were lucky enough to get to see the Britcom "Are You Being Served?" -- you knew him as the theatrically flaming Mr. Humphries.

I guess from now on, he really is Free.

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So I thought in honor of his passing, I'd tell a racy joke...

This fifty year old guy decides to splurge for his birthday, and he goes and he has about ten thousand dollars' worth of plastic surgery. On the day the bandages come off, he goes out for a walk in a nearby neighborhood and decides to ask people how old they think he is.

He goes into a drycleaners, and he asks the man behind the counter, "Hey, buddy, I got a question for you. How old do you think I look?" The drycleaner looks at him a minute and then says "Oh, you look like you're in your early thirties."

The man grins and says "Nope! I turned fifty last month! Have a great day!" and ambles out the door.

Next, the man stops at a burger stand to get a hamburger. He asks the vendor the same thing. "How old do you think I am?" The vendor answers "Gee, I guess you're about thirty or so..?" And the man laughs and says "No, dude, I just turned FIFTY! You made my day, though!" and he hands the burger vendor ten dollars as a tip.

So the man takes his burger, and eats it at the bus stop while he's waiting for his ride.

A little old lady walks up to him, and he turns to the old woman and says "Ma'am, can I ask you a question? How old do you think I look?"

The old woman leans over to him and says "If you let me feel your balls, I'll tell you exactly how old you are."

Puzzled, the man looks right and left, and then furtively allows her request.

She sticks her hand in his pants, feels his balls, then says "You are just over fifty years old!"

The man is astonished. "Wow! That's fantastic! You can tell that just by feeling my balls?"

"No," says the old lady "I overheard you when I was standing in line behind you at the drycleaners."

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Also silent now is one of the most blessedly beautiful voices in rock and roll.

Brad Delp, 55, was found dead at his home in New Hampshire on Friday afternoon. Nobody knows how it happened yet.

He was the lead singer of Boston.

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I think that's it. Have a good Saturday.

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