Previously... Springtime For Someone This is my safe spaceThis is where I post, where I dream, where I hurt, and where I recover. Everybody who understands this Extras, Fun Stuff & Recommended Reading 42 Things About Me I Can Hear The Ocean. A proud member of Always go too far Albert Camus |
It's Been A Weekend Monday, Aug. 30, 2010 - 12:31 a.m. From user 'rickbovenkamp' over on YouTube comes the following message in the comments section of Guns N' Roses "November Rain" video: Listen, my fellow rockers. I have to admit I chuckled, but I just love it when freedom of expression is only valid if it's your freedom of expression. Anyway, Justin Bieber has always conducted herself kindly in interviews, and I think we should give that sweet girl a break. --- All right. It's been a weekend. John went over to visit Nadine, and I went to Vacaville to play bass because I thought we were having a complete rehearsal, which didn't take place because two of our guys flaked, one of which was a no call no show. Argh. So our day dovetailed, and John dropped me off at the Ferry Building and drove from there to Livermore. While he was there, John found out some more stuff about Dad. It seems Joe's bag of marbles had a hole in it, and Joe knew it. We'd had no idea he had been having any problems, because we predominantly saw him on holidays when he was busy and happy. He'd been suffering from depression for quite some time, and was showing many of the early signs of dementia. And he turned out to be one of those guys who had a difficult and or impossible time asking for help. So, not being in the right frame of mind, and most definitely not the person he used to be -- he hanged himself at home, sometime late last Tuesday morning, and Nadine was the one who found him. For this part of his Great Adventure, I am going to be upset at him for quite some time. But as for the rest of it? There's an enormous percentage of it that makes more sense to John and to me now. And I am glad John got some closure from his visit. As for me, and a factor in my not visiting that day? I have a macabre sense of humor and a nearly complete inability to stop and think before something comes out of my mouth, so it was best if I went and worked on music. Nadine and everybody understood that, especially when John told them I had been crying pretty much every day since we got the news. I deal with awfulness with completely inappropriate humor and some of the family isn't ready for that yet. I'll be more on an even keel by the time we go to the funeral. I hope. Heh heh heh... See??? Look at that. I'm hopeless. --- I've also been thinking about my relationship with my father-in-law, and have realized that it was drastically different that the relationship with my father. While I did respect my father, and I loved him -- I didn't like him. He was one of those guys who was nicer to strangers than he was to his immediate family. But I really really loved Joe, and I also liked and enjoyed him, so very much. So in that way, even though I didn't know him for the length of time so many other people did, I am certain I was closer to him than I was to my father. I guess that's a crummy thing to say, but alas, it's the truth. --- All right. Tomorrow will be my last post prior to the funeral, and I thank you for your understanding. Have a good Monday. ---
what you missed - what's next - leave a note THE LEGAL STUFF: All content on this site that was created by me is copyright 2003-infinity by Brin Marie McLaughlin. Steal my stuff and I'll squash you like a bug. All incoming email or any other form of communication with me is subject to publication or other distribution by me in whole or in part at my sole discretion. This diary features the sole opinions and experiences of one person, namely me, the person who is paying for this space. In the interest of safety and accountability, no anonymous input will ever be allowed here, ever, for any reason in the entire history of ever. Whenever there is a comments section appearing in this diary, it's to be considered part of my paid presence on the web, and shall be used by my readership to supplement the things I have written here with relevant information in a polite manner. Comments that do not fall in that category are subject to deletion at my whim. Your visit to my diary along with your use of my comments section constitutes the understanding of this statement. Anything else on these pages including any comments belongs to whoever created it. All external links are current as of the date of the entry in which they are first featured, but at no other time. News excerpts used here are for educational purposes and are permitted under the Fair Use Doctrine. Hold hands when you cross the street, and play nice. |