Eleven Minutes

Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2010 - 12:33 a.m.

Well.

John got his sleep apnea test results mailed to him from his HMO.

He said "Holy shit." and waved a piece of paper at me and the word SEVERE was in all capital letters.

Normal breathing during a night of sleep can include anywhere from one to five instances of reduced or stopped airflow per hour, for whatever reason.

Over thirty instances of reduced or stopped airflow per hour -- defined here as at least ten seconds of oxygen deprivation -- is the definition of severe apnea.

John's numbers are both over seventy.

What this basically means is that for every hour he's trying to sleep, his breathing isn't working at all for a little over eleven minutes for every hour, at the very minimum of ten seconds per stoppage.

This explains why he sleeps so well slightly reclined in his chair.

Holy shit, indeed.

In a couple more weeks, a CPAP device will be assigned to him and more tests will be taken to see if there's an improvement. Let's hope John and the CPAP work together to help him stay nice and oxygenated at night.

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In other news, my cold or whatever this nose thing was has run its course, and you bet your ass that was a pun.

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That's it. See you next time.

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