You Knew I Was A Snake

Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2003 - 3:32 a.m.

Well, damn.

Trevor Goddard killed himself.

He used to be on J.A.G., and he was breathtakingly beautiful. Green eyes, and dark brown hair and legs all the way up to his neck and muscles muscles and more muscles.

He was about six months younger than me. He's in the middle of a divorce. I look at him and think, geez, he's an Aussie, he's gorgeous, he's moderately famous, and he's a Libra, the most soft and squishy and friendly of the signs -- who on EARTH would want a divorce from somebody like THAT?

Deep peace on the running wave to you, Trevor. May you sleep in peace and wake in wonderment.

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Gosh was I mad yesterday. Less so today. In the wee hours of today, I received what can only be interpreted as a friendly communication from Illinois Andy, which due to our history, instantly put me on my guard. He said he was sorry for how he behaved in the chat room, which I appreciated a lot -- which I credit to my reporting him to AOL's Community Action Team for room disruption --- but I also have a small but persistent feeling this has something to do with the fact that I read the first four Harry Potter books to him and the fifth one is due out on June 21st. :)

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Paul was kind enough to take pity on me Monday night and telephone me, so we wouldn't just have to sit in front of the computer screens and chat. Since his surgery on Wednesday, he's got numbness in the first three fingers of his right hand, which makes it difficult to type -- naturally I couldn't resist a moderately obscene speculation as to what had caused his hand to wear out.

Then he laughed, and then he called me a shit for making him laugh because his incisions still hurt.

I then thought of that old story about the monk who picks up a snake and carries it across the river and the snake bites him anyway, and the monk says "What the fuck was that? I was NICE to you!" and the snake said, "Dude, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up."

Well. Obviously that's something of a paraphrase.

But my point is... Paul, I make you laugh every time you phone me. This is something that happens EVERY TIME. Don't call me expecting a mortician, please. Wait till your belly feels better before you call me again, you wonderful doof, you.

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And by the way -- the snake story is also what keeps me on my guard. So, John, and Jamie, two of my favorite men in this world, please do not worry.

I know who my real angels are.

Speaking of same, I barely got a chance to talk to Jamie on the telephone on Monday. But I think we have a movie date set for Wednesday night -- HERCULES. Yayyy!!!

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More later, maybe. or not.:) xoxox

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