Good Sensory Input

Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003 - 8:00 a.m.

Have you ever had to fall on your own sword to preserve your dignity? I had to do that yesterday -- except it wasn't my sword.

And whether or not it was dignified is a matter of opinion. I guess since I didn't cry until several hours after the fall took place, that counts for something somewhere. And come to think of it, I wasn't the one who should have done the falling.

But oh well. That doesn't mean it still wasn't the right thing to do.

I don't care about whose responsibility it was to choose what to do.

For me, it had become a matter of self-preservation. I was literally going crazy waiting for a decision about something from someone -- and by 'crazy', I mean crazy even for -me-, which says a lot -- so I made the decision. I had started having those dreams where I am looking for something that I can't find, and waking up with my heart beating like a triphammer.

It seemed to work. I didn't have that running and searching dream last night.

Instead, last night's dream was different.

I dreamed that I was sharing a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream with Gerard Depardieu, and that I kept having to stop and wipe off his moustache.

Since those happen to be two of my favorite forms of sensory input -- well, three if you count the facial hair -- I'd say this was an improvement. :)

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The cookies turned out unearthly good. I substituted about two ounces of chocolate chips with an equal amount of Scharffen Berger bittersweet chocolate that I hammered and sieved, and I also added a half cup of macadamia nuts.

Last night's dinner was good -- Pork chops that had been sitting in a plastic bag in the fridge for several hours coated in a mixture consisting of equal parts of grated apple and diced onion, with a couple of tablespoons of worcestershire sauce. Before the chops were put under the broiler, the apples and onions were rinsed off. I don't remember the last time that pork chops turned out so beautifully.

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Q: What has seventy-five balls, and screws little old ladies? -- A: Bingo.

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