Grotty Thursday

Thursday, Nov. 20, 2003 - 5:28 a.m.

A couple of days ago, I was listening to a local morning show on the radio. Believe it or not, there are still jock-driven live programs available here and there -- and the dj I happened to have been listening to was a fellow named Greg Kihn.

The reason the name is spelled the same as that musician who did 'The Breakup Song' and 'Jeopardy' is because it's the selfsame person.

Anyway, Greg Kihn read a list of practical advice that I'm compelled to share with you here today.

Never get involved with a woman who likes leather Fiorruci goods.

Don't walk on railroad tracks.

Don't drive through Richmond, California at two in the morning.

Don't kill anybody, especially your spouse.

Spend less than you make.

Be nice to women and drink only at home.

Reject idiots, charlatans, and blonde bikini models.

Never interrupt Sir Paul McCartney.

Procrastinate making unpleasant decisions for as long as possible.

Always carry a stout piece of hickory -- you never know when you may need it.

When in doubt, fake it -- you might get lucky.

I think all of those instructions are very sound.

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People, a friend of mine has the grot -- the bad grot.

P@ul Schu!tz was diagnosed with pneumonia yesterday. He's still this side of reasonable comprehension -- even by MY standards, ha ha -- but he sounds terrible. He told me to call him at a certain time, and I did, and when he answered I was "You sound like nine miles of gravel road," I said.

He groaned and said, "Yeah. That's how I feel, too." We spoke a total of about nine minutes, and then I couldn't stand it anymore and told him to get off the phone and go to bed.

I saw him up a couple of hours later last night online, thanks in no small part to the fact that he was coughing every time he laid down. He finally logged off again looking for some hot tea and a nice steamy shower.

So anyway, if you can spare good vibes for him, please do so.

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And finally, in the The Definitive Proof Of The Existence Of God department: Chocolate has just been found to have more anti-oxidants in it than peas. :)

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