Pajamas & Ralphie

Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008 - 12:07 a.m.

Yesterday afternoon, the intercom buzzed and it was UPS. As is my usual custom during most days, I am in pajamas unless I need to get dressed and go somewhere. I hadn't showered yet, nor brushed my teeth.

I buzzed and let him into the building, and then he astonished me by standing in the foyer at the base of the stairs and yelling.

"HELLO??? HEY, HELLO??!"

What the fuck was this guy doing?!

So I opened my door, and said "Goddammit!" loudly enough so that he heard me, and then I stomped down the stairs and face him and said "Stop yelling in my building! I had to come down the stairs in my pajamas! I'm not happy about this!"

He glanced at me, saw me standing there glowering, (which is hard to do when you're wearing hot pink pajama bottoms and a heather green t shirt, but I managed) got a look on his face like when Beaver thought a witch was living in that old house down the block -- and he looked back at his signature board and said "Sign?"

I came THIS close to writing 'Fire this asshole' instead of my name.

Then I came upstairs and filed a complaint at the UPS website.

As usual with all things related to any kind of problem I have with packages that are supposed to be delivered into my hands, absolutely nothing will come of it, but I feel better having stomped his balls, which I reckon isn't the most saintly thing to admit, but he really shouldn't have yelled up the stairs. I hope he gets an admonition about this.

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On the upside of the package universe, I received a package from Old Buddy Dave!

I followed the strict instructions he gave, which meant not opening it until I got him on the phone, and when he finally called, I opened the box at last, and found One Of The Coolest Things Evar...

The super deluxe collector's edition DVD of A Christmas Story.

This is a boxed set like nothing else within my field of perception. It's in a cookie tin, with the neatest collateral material I have ever seen to come with a DVD. There's a recipe book, containing among other things a really good recipe for Chinese Turkey, an apron with the phrase 'You'll Shoot Your Eye Out' on it, and a set of cookie cutters in various shapes, including "Bunny Suit" and "Leg Lamp."

It is a real winner. Old Buddy Dave, you blow me away. Thank you again for the marvelous present.

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That's it. Have a good Thursday.

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