Excavations

Saturday, Sept. 27, 2003 - 8:00 a.m.

Today is Saturday, the day that's usually scheduled for a major cleaning or a major expulsion of mathoms from the Closet of Doom. I think John and I are also going to sneak over to IKEA for a little retail therapy, as there's a workstation that we finally agree on, and I think we want to do the matching his and hers thing with the desks as soon as possible.

Yesterday afternoon and evening, I had another one of those excellently beautiful and serendipitous days where my friends all sort of came out of the woodwork and we spent time together.

Here I go, quoting song lyrics again, which is one of the deadly sins of blogging -- I'll spare you the entire set of lyrics and just zoom in on the ones that appeal to me now. This is from a song that I've loved for twenty years, written by an artist introduced to me by one of my oldest and best friends. I was listening to a mix tape that another friend of mine made for me back in 1988, the first time I lived in San Francisco. (But that, dear readers, is a great big story for another time...)

Anyway, here's some of the lyrics:

Hold on hold out, keep a hold on still
If you don't see what your love is worth
No one ever will
You've done your time on the bottom line
And it ain't no thrill
There's got to be something more
Keep a hold on still
You know what it is you're waiting for
Now you just hold on
Hold on hold out, hold on

Give up your heart and you lose your way
Trusting another to feel that way
Give up your heart and you find yourself
Living for something in somebody else
Sometimes you wonder what happens to love
Sometimes the touch of a friend is enough

Hold a place for the human race
Keep it open wide
Give it time to fall or climb
But let the time decide
Sometimes you wonder what's in this for you
But you wait, and you see
'cause it's all you can do
Just to hold on
Hold on hold out, hold on...

"Hold On, Hold Out" -- Jackson Browne

---

Uh oh, I think another Existential Bullshit Alert is in order...:)

Speaking of friends -- Last week when Hurricane Isabel bore down on the east coast, and I found out that Scott Hysmith was directly in its path, that sort of galvanized my head about some things. He and I have known one another for fifteen years, and at one point, we were even engaged to be married. I broke the engagement off, choosing instead to stay in California and marry John, which turned out to have been exactly the right thing to do. However, Scott and I never had the Official Closure Conversation. And last week, when there was a real and palpable and very immediate circumstance that would have kept that from ever happening, I realized that it needed to happen.

So it did. We finally had That Talk, about what happened and why.

An analogy would be that there were little bright broken bits and shards of recollection and memories; each of us ended up with a handful of that leftover debris, and when we finally started talking about what I've come to refer to as the Before Time, we found out that there wasn't enough of it to rebuild something identical -- which is -fine- with me, because Scott and I are extremely happily ensconced in our respective lives, and to try and come up with something like what went before would probably result in circumstances that could produce unneccesary tragedy of a Shakespearian magnitude -- so instead, what we did was we each put our handful of sparklies into a Gee I'm Glad We Had This Talk kaleidoscope. And once in awhile, we'll probably pick it up and shake it and put our eye to the lens -- and, accurate or otherwise, we'll see the past as something very pretty, and symmetrical. But the best part is, being able to put it down and go deal with Real Present-Day Life, without having a handful of miscellaneous sparkly bits to worry about misplacing.

We know where they are now.

Thank goodness.

END E.B.A. END END for now anyway.:)...

---

Movie Date! Movie Date! -- Jamie and I are getting together Sunday after his work to watch The Craft. Gloryoski, I've missed my movie dates with him.

---

And Yahoo! Messenger seems to be fixed, somehow, too. I almost don't want to write it down for fear of it fucking up again, because I'm funny that way -- but for now, it's up. Like anybody really wants to see me at this time of day anyway. :)

The problem seems to have been Yahoo's fault; according to the subspace chatter that Scott relayed to me, they rolled a bunch of nice shiny new server software that was supposed to prevent spam. Oh, it prevented spam, all right. It also prevented their -own product- from functioning. Way to go! -- not.

---

That's it for now.

"All together, all as one, relentlessly we're dancing on."

(First one to tell me where I got the above quote wins a mention here. :)..)

---

what you missed - what's next - leave a note
first post - cast page - diaryrings - top ten

THE LEGAL STUFF: All content on this site that was created by me is copyright 2003-infinity by Brin Marie McLaughlin. Steal my stuff and I'll squash you like a bug. All incoming email or any other form of communication with me is subject to publication or other distribution by me in whole or in part at my sole discretion. This diary features the sole opinions and experiences of one person, namely me, the person who is paying for this space. In the interest of safety and accountability, no anonymous input will ever be allowed here, ever, for any reason in the entire history of ever. Whenever there is a comments section appearing in this diary, it's to be considered part of my paid presence on the web, and shall be used by my readership to supplement the things I have written here with relevant information in a polite manner. Comments that do not fall in that category are subject to deletion at my whim. Your visit to my diary along with your use of my comments section constitutes the understanding of this statement. Anything else on these pages including any comments belongs to whoever created it. All external links are current as of the date of the entry in which they are first featured, but at no other time. News excerpts used here are for educational purposes and are permitted under the Fair Use Doctrine. Hold hands when you cross the street, and play nice.