Hack

Monday, Jun. 23, 2008 - 12:38 a.m.

Time Warner, which Old Buddy Dave uses, stopped carrying all Usenet newsgroups as of today.

The reason they keep giving is to prevent the distribution of child porn. Um. Yeah.

Their actions are identical to shutting down entire news stands in the interest of preventing child pornography magazines from hitting the stands.

Oh wait, the news stands are still open and there's no kiddie porn in sight!

I guess there must be some kind of measures in place to keep that sort of thing from happening, but still allowing other kinds of info to be published and put out on the racks.

What this tells me is that Time Warner is a bunch of stupid and lazy bastards.

Are they honestly trying to tell us that there's nobody in this entire country who is willing to sit in a room and filter porn groups for fifty dollars an hour?

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And in other news, Amy Winehouse, at the age of twenty-four, has just been diagnosed with early stages of emphysema.

They tried to make her go to rehab and she said wheeeeeze couughhghghhh haackkk.

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Here's a meme I found over on MySpace that my brother filled out:

Can you fill this out without lying?
I have to be sitting up to type. Is this a trick question?

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Cool Mint Listerine

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes

Where was your default picture taken?
Under The Yum Yum Tree

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
One of Thea's friend's kids. I wanted to push that rotten little asshole out the door while we were moving. Not to kill him, mind you, but skinning him up and making him scab over and itch for a month was a truly therapeutic fantasy for the duration of the drive.

Can you play guitar hero?
Nope.

Last time you walked further than a block?
Airport security.

Name someone that made you laugh today?
George Carlin, who died yesterday.

When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?
Oh, I think Christmas.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
Not very, because it was too hot to function.

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Dunno.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
I have a dandy one in my own home! If Myspace? Probably either Joey or JJ or Dan.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
If I broke up with them, yes. If they broke up with me, no.

Do you prefer to call or text?
Smoke Signals, baby!

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
Diet anything is best for you.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
Recently.

Where is your biological father right now?
My brother has him in a box.

Where are you at right now?
Away from home.

What bed did you sleep in last night?
A green one.

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Kung Pao. Emphasis on Pow.

When is your birthday?
I'm an Aries.

Who took your profile picture?
Nobody; it's still there.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Me, sticking my tongue out.

Was yesterday better than today?
But not half as much as tomorrow. Or something.

Can you live a day without TV?
Nope.

Are you mad about anything?
Yes.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
All of them are, but only if you don't mind feeling like an idiot sometimes.

Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
Last night.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
A little over a week ago, and that's all I got to say bout that.

Are you a bad influence?
Christ, I hope so!

Night out or night in?
Night in if it's really cold. Night out if it's ... well... colder than it is now.

Are you more of an individual or an outgoing person?
I talk to strangers, but don't take candy from them.

What items could you not go without during the day?
Well, I'm pretty fond of wearing my ostomy pouch, but everything else is negotiable.

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
I'd have to go first.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Probably my grandmother when she broke her knee

Last hug?
Old Buddy Dave

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
If my husband is reading this, ohhhh you betcha! Please oh please!

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
Having never been to Spectre, I'll have to say no.

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
From John: Awake at last. Brain demanding coffee before allowing further activities.

How do you feel about your life right now?
I still have one, so I guess that's good.

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Never as a driver, a half-dozen times as the first Mrs. Andrew Harrison

Do you hate anyone?
It's a short, but very crucial, list.

Do you talk dirty to people?
Sap on your car hood! Skidmarked skivvies! Toe jam! Huhnhhh hunnhhhnnh

If we were to look in your phone inbox, what would we find?
Old flight numbers, mostly.

Will you have a valentine this year?
Yes.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
John, The Husband Critter.

Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
If you know anything about my adventures of the last six years, no.

How's your heart?
Takes a licking....

Say you were given a drug test right now, Would you pass?
I don't know if I could spell enough drug names properly.

All right, there you are. If you want to fill this out, please do.

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The temperature is supposed to cool down today here in Anaheim. Digits juxtaposed!

Have a good Monday.

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One more thing:

SHIT, PISS, FUCK, CUNT, COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER, and TITS! Okay, now I am done. Thank you.

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