Stupid Larry & Baby Rabies

Thursday, Jul. 10, 2003 - 2:43 p.m.

This is the fourth of five days total that the downstairs neighbors have awakened me about ninety minutes earlier than I should have been. I was awake until nine this morning, working on my fanzine, Conferring With Earthquakes.

With an appreciative nod to Dave Barry, it's becoming more obvious with each passing day that our downstairs neighbors -- Stupid Larry and his hellspawn -- have moved here from a state whose mascot is apparently a dog named 'Booger'.

This entire family is beyond clueless when it comes to sharing a building with other families. They've made the bedroom into a rec room, and that's where they keep their fancy sound system, and it sounds as if it also may contain a basketball court, a trampoline, and at least one bowling ball.

Never mind the fact that they're in an apartment where the floor plans are all identical, which means -- HELLO! -- that there just MIGHT be people ASLEEP or FUCKING in the room directly above them.

Although...

Now that I think of it, they DO turn the sound off when we're fucking.

Uh oh.

Anyway. My regular readers will recall that Stupid Larry is the guy who wouldn't come to the door when there was a gas leak in the building, and John had gone to every tenant and pounded on the door. Why? What was Larry doing?... He was leaning out the window of his living room, SMOKING A CIGARETTE and couldn't be bothered to actually come to the front door. Thank goodness the BUILDING didn't blow up.

Stupid Larry has a van that is really tall. He's broken the garage door TWICE since he moved in. This last time all he did was bend the frame, so the door only hesitates and groans when we pull it up.

And his kids? Well. Let's just say the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. The other afternoon as John was backing into the garage, which is the only real way he can park in a way that insures nobody will park against his driver side door, both of Stupid Larry's boys came zipping into the garage on their bicycles, and past John in the narrow garage entry, while John was still moving.

On no account do I think these people are mean.

They're just stupid.

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Every cloud has its silver lining. On days like this, the 'Baby Rabies' fade a little bit.

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