Bullshit Galore

Saturday, Aug. 16, 2003 - 4:15 a.m.

I bet you didn't know Pussy had an ugly brother, did you?...:)

Friday just felt awful. In a word, it was a nice crusty olive-drab bullshit kind of day.

I don't know why, precisely, but for some reason, I felt as if I've been threading needles all day.

Technically of course, the day was still a twenty four hour day, but I don't think a single day of my recent memory has been so inescapably crammed with so much minuscule, niggly, minute-to-minute, snail's-pace activity since the days before I quit paying any attention to the escapades of Fake Andy.

This apparently all started when I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles on Monday, August 4th. I filled out an application for a new ID card. I figured I would have it in my grubby little mitts in time to go to Utah on September 3rd.

Yesterday, I received a letter dated August 6th that apparently took nine days to get from Sacramento to San Francisco.

That letter was a notice from the Department of Motor Vehicles that stated my Social Security Number and my name do not match. I called the number to try and get to the bottom of things -- and sure enough, my SSN is still under my maiden name. By filing for a new ID card using my married name -- which I've been using for twelve years as of this coming Columbus Day, thank you -- I caused all sorts of wonderful Bullshit to Happen somewhere, which is why I got that letter. And whenever Bullshit Happens in not one but two government agencies, I -worry-.

So. Bright and early Monday morning, I get to go to my local branch of the Social Security Administration, with my marriage license removed from the frame and tucked into my purse, and probably my Kaiser card, and maybe even a deposit slip from my checkbook, and a duplicate of last years' tax return, and try and convince these good people that I am who I say I am, and could they PLEASE tell the DMV to go ahead and issue my card.

In fact -- I have already filled out the forms for the new SS card. This was an entirely separate and distinct taste treat in and of itself, as the forms were only downloadable to the newest version of Adobe Acrobat Reader, version 5 -- which took, on my land line, ONE HOUR to download and install.

So basically I'm torn. I want this trip to hurry up and get here. But I also want the two government agencies to work in tandem and give me the ID card I paid for... Thunderation...

We're going to have an action hero as governor in a few short weeks.

I want this stuff taken care of before then.

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And to top it all off, Elvis Presley is still dead.

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18...

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