Keane / Unclipped

Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 7:52 a.m.

Keane was awesome in the VH1 Inside Track program.

They came on last, after Maroon 5 and Jamie Cullum and Joss Stone, but they were worth the wait.

I think I'm going to investigate the music of Jamie Cullum and Joss Stone now, too.

The show will be repeated a lot before the end of the month, so be sure and look for it.

I discovered something interesting about my hair yesterday; namely, if I leave it alone to dry naturally, it's curly. And right now the curl is growing in such the way that my hair most closely resembles Tom Chaplin's hairstyle.

And the reason I discovered this was because I was busy after an unscheduled shower yesterday and didn't dry my hair with a dryer and brush.

Read on.

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Okay. This is going to be gross.

But it was so humiliating I couldn't pass up the chance to share.

Yesterday afternoon at around two thirty, I couldn't keep my eyes open any more and so I set my alarm for four pm and lay down for a short nap.

I dozed lightly, and finally dinked out around three, and woke up when the alarm went off, and something felt wrong.

So I sat up...and that's when I found out the clip had come off of the bottom of my ostomy appliance.

Then I -stood- up. And verily I immediately realized that had been a mistake. A big one.

Suddenly, I was drenched. My pajama bottoms, my panties, even my bedding.

Everything had been saturated by the contents of the pouch.

I ran with my knees together and got into the bathroom and jumped in the shower and just stripped off my clothes while standing in the tub with the shower running. There was simply no other way to deal with the deluge.

After I'd rinsed off and left my soaked clothing in the tub, I got back out and investigated the bedding.

Two large stains had permeated the fitted sheet and the mattress pad. Since the stains are comprised of enzymes, time was of the essence, so the next forty five minutes were spent by me stripping the fitted sheet, dragging the icky portion of the sheet up into the sink and scrubbing that, then going back to the mattress pad and treating that with stain remover, then changing the rest of the old sheets and pillowcases off and putting the new sheets and pilllowcases on, then remembering to actually get some fresh clothing on, then remembering that I didn't dry my hair the way I usually do.

By the time I could stop moving long enough to survey my hair, that's when I discovered how nice and wavy it is when it dries, now that most of it has been cut off.

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So. To sum up -- At thirty-nine years of age, I shit the bed during a nap yesterday.

I haven't done that in quite that size or scale in thirty-seven and a half years.

It was a humbling day.

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This morning, I'm merely suffering from allergies. So I'm sipping on Theraflu and finishing composing this post over in NotePad.

And finally...

RIVERSIDE, Iowa (AP) - Capt. James T. Kirk came home to Riverside this week.

William Shatner, who played the commander of the starship USS Enterprise in the '60s ``Star Trek'' series, arrived in Riverside Tuesday to hold auditions for four small parts in a low-budget, sci-fi movie he wrote with ``Star Trek'' co-star Leonard Nimoy.

The working title of the movie is ``Invasion Iowa.''

Shatner called the film ``his baby,'' and said he's dreamed of putting the story on the big screen for 30 years.

The 73-year-old actor and more than 100 crew members will be in Riverside for several days to film scenes for the movie.

Although Kirk's hometown was never mentioned in the TV series, Gene Roddenberry, the show's creator and executive producer, wrote in ``The Making of Star Trek'' that Kirk was ``born in a small town in the state of Iowa.''

The Riverside City Council picked up on the idea in March 1985, declaring a site behind what used to be the town's barbershop the ``future birthplace'' of Kirk.

Shatner is a native of Canada.

On the Net:

http://www.startrek.com

http://www.williamshatner.com

I am regularly over in the Presidio area to take pictures.

Maybe one of these days the city and county of San Francisco will allow the placement of a big sign somewhere there that says 'Future Home of Starfleet Command'...

Well, hey, one can dream, right...?

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