Planet Rock

Tuesday, May. 23, 2006 - 7:33 a.m.

I found this over on alt.humor.best-of-usenet and had to share:

New Year's Resolutions

This year, I resolve to...

Claim my $1,000,000 Instant Win Game!
Punch George W In the Face and Win an iPod
Find 3 Ways to eliminate credit card debt
INCREASE MY PENIS SIZE
Eat pizza and lose weight
Analyze My Top Competitors
Automate Repetitive Coding Tasks
Get a Free subscription to eWEEK (Others pay $195)
Get a permanent internet address
Grow Younger with HGH
Order now for just $9.99!
Look and Feel Younger
Broadcast my message to millions
Test Drive the IBM NetVista S42
SAVE on hundreds of items
Become one of the 4000 Internet "Kiosk" Home Reps Needed
Eat pizza, watch TV ... and lose 22 pounds
Lower My Company's Storage Costs with EMC
See my favorite singer naked, for FREE!
Unclog disk space on my PC
LOSE 30LBS IN A WK
Cash my winning lottery ticket #20362
Get Retin-A.
Lower my mortgage payment
Get Web addresses in any language!
Lose 32 pounds by Christmas
Biggee my penis 3 inches in 22 days
Call India and Bangladesh for 29.6 cents a minute!
Find Efficient and effective way to promote my business
Make lenders compete for my business
Loose Weight, Increase Energy, Improve cholesterol levels for Only $24.99
Get whiter teeth in One week Guaranteed!
Get the Lowest Price Ever!
GET A BIGGER PENIS, ADD 1-3 INCHES FAST
Get 3 best selling books for free
Test Drive the Sony Vaio PCV-W10
Lose 32 pounds by February
Refinance now before it's too Late
Tap into an $10 billion market
Increase my penis 3 inches in 21 days
Win $5,000 a week for life
Get some high quality, compatible inkjet cartridges
Look & Feel better before Valentines!
Protect My Internet Privacy
Send in my feedback on Windows .Net Server
See what the neighbor's wife is up to!
Test those surge arresters...
Win a new MINI Cooper

I hope the author acheived his goals!

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My absentee voter ballot finally got here, TEN DAYS after John's did.

I happen to be an 'undeclared party' voter. I hope this isn't why mine was late.

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John has a meeting today with some of the few decent people from a company whose business model closely resembles that of Insuracare.

That was of course, the insurance company featured in The Incredibles.

So I didn't have to pack him a lunch.

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Watching an episode of Bonanza. Apparently Little Joe and Hoss are stranded on the planet Vasquez Rock.

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Have a good Tuesday.

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